failure

I feel like that today. A failure. This morning as I got in the shower I cried. I sobbed; feeling sorry for myself that I have completely, completely, completely let myself go. I'm not that active person I used to be. I'm not that person who hardly ever watched TV. I'm not the person that would have an easy time breathing while falling asleep.I'm not the person that loved doing my hair and make-up everyday, and getting all cute for the day. I'm not the person that used to care about how my closet looked; how everything had to be in it's place, colors couldn't be mixed up.

Now, I don't care at all! I was putting some laundry away Saturday morning and I started to hang up a shirt that was inside out. Ryan said, "umm, it's inside out". I replied in a very smart-aleky way, "I don't care".

Where have I gone?

A long time ago there was a word that I knew I NEVER EVER was, and that was LAZY. I remember telling Ryan when we first got married to never ever say that I was lazy, because I knew I wasn't. I was always a hard working.

Well, guess what. I'm lazy, very lazy!

I want to sit and do nothing. I want to eat anything I want to...and I do...and I don't care. That's the problem. I should care. I NEED to care, and I do...but I don't know how to change this.

I keep wanting a magic pill to kick start things, but I know that's not the way to do it.

I need some major help!!! Anyone out there willing to push me?!?!?!?

1 down, 9 more to go.

I did it! I hiked to that dang "Y" on the Mountain, in Provo. One word for you...

PAIN! That's how I'm feeling. Muscles that I never knew I had hurt.

I walked into YW on Sunday and saw the girls I hiked with. I asked them if they were sore. They're response...

..."no, not really." Of course not! They're in much better shape then I am. They all play sports and are on some sort of sports team in school. They work out ALL.THE.TIME. It's no wonder Anga wanted to run those last few switchbacks. She probably felt like she wasn't getting a good work out stopping every 10 feet with me...lol.

I'm not really looking forward to doing it again this Saturday, but I've got to do it. These girls are with me on this journey and I couldn't be more proud, and thankful. They're amazing Young Women, and they push me.

Now I just need to condition more during the week before each hike, maybe that'll help make it so I'm not about to keel over.

Love, Shan

Goal

I have been so inspired by some friends of mine this summer. They had the goal of hiking the 'Y' in Provo 10 times throughout the summer. I believe each Wednesday morning they hiked it. Awesome!

I'm not much of a hiker and I've never hiked the Y, I know, crazy. I mean I've lived in Utah for over 20 years and have never hiked the Y. Well, my friends. This is about to change.

I'm going to hike the Y each Saturday morning with some friends and some of my Laurels. We're going to do it 10 times as well. The last hike for us will be at the end of October. However, with the fall leaves coming up around that time, I may not want to quit.

Y mount here I come!

Our new addition to the family, Lucius Maximus.

Yes, we're now one of those couples that take endless video, and pictures of their dog doing funny things. We love him!

I have none...

...self control, that is. Seriously! I.HAVE.NO.SELF.CONTROOOOOOOOL!! Zilch, zip, nada.

I think I need professional help.

Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar, and XanGo.

Have any of you heard of this? I did for the first time on Friday. It's supposed to be really, really good for you. A neighbor of mine had some and told me about it. So, naturally I went out and bought some the next day at Good Earth Health Food Store. I mixed it in with my XanGo juice yesterday morning. I think I'll do that from now on. It kind of masks the vinegar taste a bit. You can read more about the benefits of ACV here.

I've been faithful at drinking my XanGo juice each day for the past two weeks now. It's amazing to me that I have worked for this company for the past 5 years and have only used the juice here and there. I mean people would do anything to get their hands on some XanGo, because of all the health benefits it has and does for them. We raised the price by $20 back in March. Distributors were upset! Many opted to get out and stop using it, only to call back a few months later saying they couldn't live without it anymore and needed to get back in.


So, my dear friend, and fellow Manager, Violeta, told me I needed to drink it everyday. Why? Because it would help with my blood pressure. So, I've taken on that challenge with her, and so far I feel good.

Now, mixing this with the ACV could be a match made in heaven!

Exercising at work

Here's what I do while I'm at my desk. What works for you?

Monday...

today...

 Stomach sore from crunches?...CHECK. Green smoothie devoured?...CHECK. Hummus and 'Wasa' Rye crackers eaten?...CHECK. Looking forward to doing yoga after work? You bet!

Inspiration

Here's a little thing that inspires me to keep going, start fresh, get motivated, get moving...whatever you want to call it.

Shabby Apple dresses. Love these, and hope to own one, one of these days - and look OH-SO-SHABBY FAB in it! Specifically the Navy and Black dress...among many others they have. Love them! I want to fit in one of them without getting them in a "Plus Size".

yes, I'm still here.

But man, do I ever feel un-motivated. I don't know what my deal is. Someone once told me that I have an addictive personality. I can totally see it.  I'll go "gung-ho" on something for a few months, and then get bored with it, and then stop. Then I'll get "gung-ho" about something else...get bored...and stop. I do this ALL THE TIME, and I don't know why I just can't keep going.

It's crazy seeing Ryan continue losing weight and me staying the same weight I was. Thank goodness I haven't gained back what I've lost, but I haven't lost any more. He's now down about 45 lbs, and he's under the "200's". Wow - he's amazing!

So, here I sit at my desk at work knowing I need to make yet another change. My goal this week is to use my Leisure time wisely. This was actually a lesson I gave in my YW class yesterday at Church. We talked about ways we can use our time to better ourselves. There was a phrase in the lesson that really hit me hard. It was something to the fact of, "the way we spend our leisure time determines what kind of a life we lead". I've been lazy. Really lazy. I always hated that word. Probably because I knew it described me.

Anyway, so this week the goal I gave myself and for my girls is to really focus on spending our time wisely and treasure those things we can and should be doing instead of being on facebook all the time, or constantly watching TV. Move around more, work on a project, develop our talents, exercise, etc.

Another thing I'm going to try and accomplish this week is to start the day with a Green Smoothie. Had one this morning and it was yummy! I've missed making these.

Here's to another week!

Bad habits

I let myself get out of the habit of  making my lunches and taking them to work everyday. And because I haven't been doing this, when lunch time rolls around I'm searching for anything to curb my hunger pangs.

Those "anythings" aren't always the best choices. Especially when people are having potlucks around here, and the theme is definitely not a healthy one.

It's time to get back into the good habits again, once and for all. I have to do it.

Shan

Results for XanGo's "The Biggest Loser"

I thought I was going to win, but alas I didn't. I wish I could've counted my extra 10lbs that I had lost prior to the competition, but no. However, I'm not totally sad about it...because I won this!

It's a Garmin Forerunner 305 GPS+ heart monitor. Basically runners LOVE this little gadget. I myself am quite happy with it, although I have yet to take it out of the box (it's only been 1 day - it's ok) but I am excited to try it out. It kind of reminds me of the 'Body bug' because you can hook it up to your computer afterwards and it'll plug in all of the data for your work out. Pretty sweet!

The price of these go for up to $250. Wow! I was debating whether or not I should sell it, but I know that if I get the money I'll just spend it on things that are of no value, and it'll be gone in a flash.

I think I'll stick with my new little toy. Thank you XanGo!

XanGo's "The Biggest Loser"

At my work, our FitX group has been doing a competition like the Biggest Loser. It started in January and ended today. When I first weighed myself for this competition I had already lost 10 lbs. Too bad I couldn't count it for this.

Anyway, this morning I did had my final weigh in. I lost 18 lbs. Which means that overall in my Journey to Healthy living I've lost 28lbs. Yay! I realize this really isn't that much compared to how much more I need to lose, but it's kind of cool to think that I've lost 8.86% of my body weight thus far.

Now, we'll see how I compare with the rest of my co-workers in this challenge. I could sure use that $100. :)

Yummy snack...

...perfect for summertime, or anytime really.  In fact, I just made myself a bowl of it.

And I may have another.


-Peel and slice large cucumber, place in a medium size bowl.
-juice from 2 limes (not the faux lime juice at the store)
-a little more then a pinch of course salt.

Mix together and eat. YUMMY!

Still here...

Oh dear, it really has been almost a month since I've updated this blog. Sad!

Things continue to go well. Although, I was sick for a good majority of the part of February with that nasty cold/flu/cough thing going around. It was aweful! It started the beginning of February, and after a few different types of antibiotics to get rid of the dang thing I think I'm just about completely better.

With that said I didn't exercise hardly at all during February. I started getting back into it just this week. I hope to continue to work on that part and get my muscle strength back, and even stronger.

So, here I go pressing forward on my Journey to Healthy Living.

Shan

A favorite.

I love Marinading Chicken! I love grilling chicken! I love salad! Put these three things together and you've a delicious, and healthy meal.

I made this Marinade one time and ever since then I can't do without it. It's simple, and delicious! The only problem is that I don't measure out the ingredients - bad habit. But basically it consists of this...

Olive Oil

Balsamic Vinegar

Course Salt

Black Pepper

Minced Garlic

Thyme

Rosemary

Thin sliced Chicken breast

The great thing about this marinade is that even if marinading for only an hour it is still SO flavorful. In fact, I don't think I've ever had this where it had marinaded (is that a word?) over night. That's why this is one of my favorites to make when I get home from work. I put it all together and wait for about an hour and then throw it in my little George Foreman Grill. 

Then cut up a head of lettuce and mix in a little Caesar Vinaigrette dressing (lower fat then most store bought vinaigrettes I've found, and has zero cholesterol), mix it well in a bowl, and then serve with the chicken on top, or make Chicken wraps...

Cook up some of those 0 trans fat raw tortillas on the stove, add a few slices of your grilled chicken, salad and wrap it up. YUM! It's fresh, healthy and DELICIOUS! 

I can tell when a dinner I made is good because Ryan will say, "Yeah, you can make that again".  Awesome!

Quinoa...have you tried it?

Man oh man. If you haven't tried Quinoa you really must, especially if you're looking for healthier food options, or if not you should still try it - it's good. This grain from South America is packed with all the proteins you need, as well as Amino acids. 

My friend and neighbor Lindsey introduced me to Quinoa when I found this recipe on her blog. She has some really good Quinoa recipes on her blog that I'm dying to try, especially the taco's with Quinoa instead of meat.


I took out the poppy seeds and crackers in the recipe and it works great for us without it, It is quite delish with those two things though. This is Ryan's favorite dish that we now have at least once a week. Yummy!!


We now substitute my favorite sticky rice with Quinoa. The great thing about it is that it takes on whatever flavor you cook it with. I cook this just like rice in the rice cooker, but instead of cooking with water I cook it with low sodium Chicken stock. It gives it a nice flavor.


You can get Quinoa at any health food store. I got some bags of it for food storage at Costco. It's about $10 for a good size bag that will last a long time.  


Try it and let me know what you think. :)

progress...

So, I have these pair of jeans. You know the ones that are in the closet that you alway stare at hoping to one day fit into them again? Yeah, that pair of jeans.

I bought them before I got married. I was wearing them on my first date with Ryan. After we got married them slowly became too small.

The last few years I've tried to get these jeans on with no avail. They've never gone past my big, round, behind - actually they get stuck there.

Well, yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work I decided to try them on. I guess I was feeling lucky or something.

Oh! Happy Day! They FIT!!! I got them up past my behind, with a little wiggle room to spare. They were a tad too tight in the stomach, but I did my little loop-di-loop trick with a rubberband and they fit fine (just gotta do more sit-up's to get rid of my bread dough stomach - was that too much information?...LOL)

On a side note, I've also lost 22 lbs. now. WOW!

Sweet tooth

These are my treat of choice when I need something sweet.

YUMMMMMM!

I'm tired of cooking...

...I really am. I long for the evenings when I can just throw a pizza in the oven and not worry about making a mess, washing dishes, etc. Are there any really healthy meals that I can just toss in the oven without the prep work?

I mean, I'm enjoying eating healthier. We can both feel a huge difference in how we feel, and in how our clothes feel. But man, the thought of coming home from a stressful day at work, and having to cook a meal, and then clean it all up is something I dread at times...most of the time.

I've heard of people making a whole bunch of meals and then freezing them so that you can just pop them into the oven. I need to look into this more.

Anyone have any ideas, thoughts on how to make this easier, while staying healthier?

Still going...

I haven't posted in a few days because there hasn't really been anything to talk about. Just the fact that we're still going.

Actually I wanted to say that my new favorite was of eating a turkey sandwich is by using this as your bread...

The overall picture looks a little something like this...

It's so yummy and oh-so-healthy for you. I also like to spread a little hummus instead of mayo, and then top it off with organic spring mix salad.

Not too shabby for a healthy meal.

SUCCESS!!

Just had to post that after weighing myself this morning, I am officially 11 lbs. down.

In the words of my dear nephews, Gavin and Ryan....SUCCESS!!!

D.D.R

Yes, I mean this...

I first played this game while at work (yes, my work is that cool that they have a DDR arcade game in the break room, along with many other awesome toys, and a gym - woohoo!). I have been begging Ryan to get me a Wii and DDR. I got my wish on Christmas, as Ryan surprised me with a Wii. Then a week or so later he was kind enough to buy said game.

I'm in heaven.

I love this game.

I'm not that great of a dancer but I always wanted to be. This is game is just plain fun!

And you want to know the best part?!?!?!?

IT'S A WORKOUT!

That's right! I can get my workout by playing this GAME. Oh, such is the life of owning a Wii. You have fun and get your cardio in at the same time.

Love it!

Hummus

Oh! Dear Hummus, how I love thee. How is it that I never partook of your savory deliciousness in all of my life until now. I especially love you Roasted Red Pepper Hummus. Thank you for coming into my life by way of Sunflower Markets, and the XanGo Christmas party, where we met the first time. :)

My life is changed for the better, because of you.

The brain on hunger

Ryan and I were chatting after dinner tonight about a few things on this new lifestyle change. He mentioned how his doctor said that usually when you're hungry and you start eating it takes about 10 minutes for your brain to recognize that it's getting food, granted, the time on this could be different for everyone.

We figured out that tonight my brain takes a bit longer to realize that it's getting food then his does. He pointed out a few cases of when we'd go out to eat. Here's one.

As we drove to Wyoming for Christmas I brought a bag load of granola bars, fiber one bars, pistachios, and those cheese crackers with PB in the middle. Everyone once in a while Ryan would say he was hungry and I'd get him a granola bar, and then he'd be good for a while.

Me? When I got hungry, I ate a handful of pistachios, a few cracker...things, a couple granola bars and I'd still feel hungry, so I'd continue eating until I was full. But, then I'd get sick because my brain finally realized it was way beyond full after stuffing my face with whatever I could in order to curb my hunger.

I found this quite interesting, and started noticing the times in my life where I was ravenously hungry and then stuffed my face with as much food as possible to stop the pain. It would have been better if I had eaten something and then waited until my brain realized that my body got food.

I think now I'll be able to recognize these moments and instead of stuffing my face, I'll eat something normal and healthy, and drink lots of water, and then wait. It'll all be well.

I love these kind of moments of realization. Don't you?!

Could it be??!!

I've been in need of new jeans for quite some time now. I usually always went to Lane Bryant and bought their jeans, but I wanted something different this time. Plus, Lane Bryant jeans make me look fatter, and give me no shape..uggh!

I went online to the "women's plus" section of Old Navy and looked for a good pair of jeans. Flare look seems to be the best for me, since it balances out my wide hips and curvy figure. A cute pair with flap pockets in the back struck my fancy, and I bought them. So cute!

Well, they came yesterday while I was at home, sick. I immediately tried them on and realized something. They were too big! Could it really be? I continued to wear them a little more and move around in them. Yep, they were too big alright. I realized this when I discovered I could pull them off and on without un-buttoning them. That's the other thing. I like my pants to have a little wiggle room, especially in the waist. If they don't then I do the old rubber-band thing with the button. Yeah, I do that all the time.

Not this time though. In fact, I need to take them back. My behind is saggy and as cute as they are when they're big, they're too big.

So, here's my question. Could it just be the sizing is different from my Lane Bryant Jeans? Did I lose weight?

The answer? I did in fact lose some weight. I weighed myself in the morning and was quite surprised to see what it said. The last time I weighed myself I was about 10lbs heavier. Fabulous! But, I think it's the sizing difference too, which is just fine by me. I certainly don't mind buying a pair of jeans smaller then my normal size. :)

Either way I'll keep working on buying even smaller sizes. :)

cankles

I love soda. LOVE IT! I love the crisp taste it has, especially on a hot day. It's so refreshing.

However, I don't love how it makes my feet swell. It's ugly, really it is. I like seeing the veins pop out, and when they're swollen they just look like a stump...lol!

Growing up my Dad always told me that I have very dainty feet. That was something I took pride in. I've got a very high arch which I think makes it look more delicate. I like my feet, as weird as that may be to say. It's the one thing on my body I like.

So, Diet Coke, I love you but I can't have you like I used to. That doesn't mean that you'll be gone permanently from my life, just come around everyone once in a while, and not in 32oz, but more like a couple sips. Mmm'kay pumpkin?!

Savoring

Yesterday I sat at work munching on a couple of little celery sticks. I did something I never did before with a vegetable. I savored it! I sat there closed my eyes and took in how delicious this celery stick was. I enjoyed it. Really, I did. I even sent a text to Ryan at that moment telling him how much I was enjoying this healthy eating.

I feel happy.

The start

I'm letting it all out in this blog. No sugar coating and no lying to myself of what I think I am and how I think I look...but the reality of it all.

I was told by my doctor about a year ago that I needed to lose weight in order to lower my cholesterol and blood pressure, AND in order to get pregnant and have a baby. Did I listen to him? No, not really. I'm on medication for my blood pressure but I didn't change my lifestyle and make it into a healthy one. You would think that being 120 lbs overweight would want to make you change...but no.

I'm a food addict. I admit it. I don't like admitting it because I constantly think "but I'm not eating a ton of food", no, but it's not the right food. I LOVE carbs! I love Pizza! I love fried halibut! I love not having a care in the world about food. I used to be completely opposite about food when I was in my senior year in high school and through the following years after that. I didn't eat. Plain and simple. A carrot stick or celery stick a day was my food of choice. I lost weight. A lot of weight. But it wasn't healthy.

All that is changing.

Ryan went to the Dr last week and he was told that his bad cholesterol was really high, his good cholesterol really low, etc. He needed to change his lifestyle and lose 75 lbs.

I made a decision then and there that if he had to do this he wasn't doing it alone, I mean heaven knows I need this just as bad, if not more then him.

It's funny how this happens to be the new year and we're just making changes for the better. It should have happened a long time ago.

But here we are, eating healthier these last few days. It's been fun actually. However, I'm the type of person that can start something really strong and then a week later quit because I'm bored. I can't do that this time, I just can't. I don't know how I'm going to overcome that since I've never really completed anything before. I need help. I need constant support. I need strength from my Heavenly Father to do this.

So let it be written - so let it be done. :)