..Days I've been drinking my green smoothie in the morning? 13.
Awes!!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
I found the secret...
Last night I was reading a book on my kindle called "Running with Angels". I had seen this book over the years in the book stores and had always wanted to read it. It's a book about an LDS woman struggling with obesity due to the trials of losing 2 babies, and dealing with 2 of her kids' diseases.
As I read 3 chapters last night before going to be there was one point that really hit home. She described her frustration with her body and why she had a hard time losing weight, and why couldn't it just melt off, and why was her body so ugly. She said, "For many yearsit had seemed that my body was not a true reflection of my spirit. It was almost as if my body was separate from the person I really was. I hated and blamed it for not dropping the weight I wanted to lose. I loathed looking at myself in the mirror. I felt as if my heart and mind worked together but my body seemed to work against everything I really wanted or knew to be true. The scriptual adage, "...the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41) became very real to me.
She had just lost a baby that died before birth. After having delivered the still born baby, she then had to deliver the placenta. The Dr. struggled with the delivery of it, saying that he had never had a hard time delivering a placenta. She didn't think anything of it until one morning she realized this great truth...her body seemed to be desperately hanging on to this baby, just like she never wanted to say goodbye to her baby.
Anyway, she goes on to saying how she never realized how powerful her body was, and she began to consider all the wonderful things her physical body had done over the years; carried her children, fed them, and helped care for them, how sparatic exercise over the years had felt good. She began to see her body, which she had loathed and hated to look at, in a completely new way. "I found new appreciation for it, as big as it still was. I did not love it overnight, but I started feeling differently."
"It was an amazing thing to me, but my whole attitude changed. I wanted to take better care of myself. I realized I needed to have patience to be able to make such drastic changes. I found my body was very forgiving of all the years of abuse I had put it through with my eating habits and lack of consistent exercise."
WOW!!! I feel like a light has come on in my head. It's interesting to see my body in that same way. Why has it been my enemy all these years? Why have I hated the way I look, when I'm the one who made my body look that way. My body is just here for the ride - why have I lacked so much care for it? It's doing what it was made to do, provide my spirit a place to reside while on this earth to learn and grow.
Thank you body! Thank you for sticking it out with me. Thank you for loving me regardless of what I've put you through. Thank you for letting me run, walk, smile, laugh, cry, jump, see, touch, and love. Thank you! I promise that I will be better to you. :)
Love, me
As I read 3 chapters last night before going to be there was one point that really hit home. She described her frustration with her body and why she had a hard time losing weight, and why couldn't it just melt off, and why was her body so ugly. She said, "For many yearsit had seemed that my body was not a true reflection of my spirit. It was almost as if my body was separate from the person I really was. I hated and blamed it for not dropping the weight I wanted to lose. I loathed looking at myself in the mirror. I felt as if my heart and mind worked together but my body seemed to work against everything I really wanted or knew to be true. The scriptual adage, "...the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41) became very real to me.
She had just lost a baby that died before birth. After having delivered the still born baby, she then had to deliver the placenta. The Dr. struggled with the delivery of it, saying that he had never had a hard time delivering a placenta. She didn't think anything of it until one morning she realized this great truth...her body seemed to be desperately hanging on to this baby, just like she never wanted to say goodbye to her baby.
Anyway, she goes on to saying how she never realized how powerful her body was, and she began to consider all the wonderful things her physical body had done over the years; carried her children, fed them, and helped care for them, how sparatic exercise over the years had felt good. She began to see her body, which she had loathed and hated to look at, in a completely new way. "I found new appreciation for it, as big as it still was. I did not love it overnight, but I started feeling differently."
"It was an amazing thing to me, but my whole attitude changed. I wanted to take better care of myself. I realized I needed to have patience to be able to make such drastic changes. I found my body was very forgiving of all the years of abuse I had put it through with my eating habits and lack of consistent exercise."
WOW!!! I feel like a light has come on in my head. It's interesting to see my body in that same way. Why has it been my enemy all these years? Why have I hated the way I look, when I'm the one who made my body look that way. My body is just here for the ride - why have I lacked so much care for it? It's doing what it was made to do, provide my spirit a place to reside while on this earth to learn and grow.
Thank you body! Thank you for sticking it out with me. Thank you for loving me regardless of what I've put you through. Thank you for letting me run, walk, smile, laugh, cry, jump, see, touch, and love. Thank you! I promise that I will be better to you. :)
Love, me
Monday, September 13, 2010
failure
I feel like that today. A failure. This morning as I got in the shower I cried. I sobbed; feeling sorry for myself that I have completely, completely, completely let myself go. I'm not that active person I used to be. I'm not that person who hardly ever watched TV. I'm not the person that would have an easy time breathing while falling asleep.I'm not the person that loved doing my hair and make-up everyday, and getting all cute for the day. I'm not the person that used to care about how my closet looked; how everything had to be in it's place, colors couldn't be mixed up.
Now, I don't care at all! I was putting some laundry away Saturday morning and I started to hang up a shirt that was inside out. Ryan said, "umm, it's inside out". I replied in a very smart-aleky way, "I don't care".
Where have I gone?
A long time ago there was a word that I knew I NEVER EVER was, and that was LAZY. I remember telling Ryan when we first got married to never ever say that I was lazy, because I knew I wasn't. I was always a hard working.
Well, guess what. I'm lazy, very lazy!
I want to sit and do nothing. I want to eat anything I want to...and I do...and I don't care. That's the problem. I should care. I NEED to care, and I do...but I don't know how to change this.
I keep wanting a magic pill to kick start things, but I know that's not the way to do it.
I need some major help!!! Anyone out there willing to push me?!?!?!?
Now, I don't care at all! I was putting some laundry away Saturday morning and I started to hang up a shirt that was inside out. Ryan said, "umm, it's inside out". I replied in a very smart-aleky way, "I don't care".
Where have I gone?
A long time ago there was a word that I knew I NEVER EVER was, and that was LAZY. I remember telling Ryan when we first got married to never ever say that I was lazy, because I knew I wasn't. I was always a hard working.
Well, guess what. I'm lazy, very lazy!
I want to sit and do nothing. I want to eat anything I want to...and I do...and I don't care. That's the problem. I should care. I NEED to care, and I do...but I don't know how to change this.
I keep wanting a magic pill to kick start things, but I know that's not the way to do it.
I need some major help!!! Anyone out there willing to push me?!?!?!?
Monday, August 23, 2010
1 down, 9 more to go.
I did it! I hiked to that dang "Y" on the Mountain, in Provo. One word for you...
PAIN! That's how I'm feeling. Muscles that I never knew I had hurt.
I walked into YW on Sunday and saw the girls I hiked with. I asked them if they were sore. They're response...
..."no, not really." Of course not! They're in much better shape then I am. They all play sports and are on some sort of sports team in school. They work out ALL.THE.TIME. It's no wonder Anga wanted to run those last few switchbacks. She probably felt like she wasn't getting a good work out stopping every 10 feet with me...lol.
I'm not really looking forward to doing it again this Saturday, but I've got to do it. These girls are with me on this journey and I couldn't be more proud, and thankful. They're amazing Young Women, and they push me.
Now I just need to condition more during the week before each hike, maybe that'll help make it so I'm not about to keel over.
Love, Shan
PAIN! That's how I'm feeling. Muscles that I never knew I had hurt.
I walked into YW on Sunday and saw the girls I hiked with. I asked them if they were sore. They're response...
..."no, not really." Of course not! They're in much better shape then I am. They all play sports and are on some sort of sports team in school. They work out ALL.THE.TIME. It's no wonder Anga wanted to run those last few switchbacks. She probably felt like she wasn't getting a good work out stopping every 10 feet with me...lol.
I'm not really looking forward to doing it again this Saturday, but I've got to do it. These girls are with me on this journey and I couldn't be more proud, and thankful. They're amazing Young Women, and they push me.
Now I just need to condition more during the week before each hike, maybe that'll help make it so I'm not about to keel over.
Love, Shan
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Goal
I have been so inspired by some friends of mine this summer. They had the goal of hiking the 'Y' in Provo 10 times throughout the summer. I believe each Wednesday morning they hiked it. Awesome!
I'm not much of a hiker and I've never hiked the Y, I know, crazy. I mean I've lived in Utah for over 20 years and have never hiked the Y. Well, my friends. This is about to change.
I'm going to hike the Y each Saturday morning with some friends and some of my Laurels. We're going to do it 10 times as well. The last hike for us will be at the end of October. However, with the fall leaves coming up around that time, I may not want to quit.
Y mount here I come!
I'm not much of a hiker and I've never hiked the Y, I know, crazy. I mean I've lived in Utah for over 20 years and have never hiked the Y. Well, my friends. This is about to change.
I'm going to hike the Y each Saturday morning with some friends and some of my Laurels. We're going to do it 10 times as well. The last hike for us will be at the end of October. However, with the fall leaves coming up around that time, I may not want to quit.
Y mount here I come!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Our new addition to the family, Lucius Maximus.
Yes, we're now one of those couples that take endless video, and pictures of their dog doing funny things. We love him!
Monday, July 12, 2010
I have none...
...self control, that is. Seriously! I.HAVE.NO.SELF.CONTROOOOOOOOL!! Zilch, zip, nada.
I think I need professional help.
I think I need professional help.
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