Last night I was reading a book on my kindle called "Running with Angels". I had seen this book over the years in the book stores and had always wanted to read it. It's a book about an LDS woman struggling with obesity due to the trials of losing 2 babies, and dealing with 2 of her kids' diseases.
As I read 3 chapters last night before going to be there was one point that really hit home. She described her frustration with her body and why she had a hard time losing weight, and why couldn't it just melt off, and why was her body so ugly. She said, "For many yearsit had seemed that my body was not a true reflection of my spirit. It was almost as if my body was separate from the person I really was. I hated and blamed it for not dropping the weight I wanted to lose. I loathed looking at myself in the mirror. I felt as if my heart and mind worked together but my body seemed to work against everything I really wanted or knew to be true. The scriptual adage, "...the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41) became very real to me.
She had just lost a baby that died before birth. After having delivered the still born baby, she then had to deliver the placenta. The Dr. struggled with the delivery of it, saying that he had never had a hard time delivering a placenta. She didn't think anything of it until one morning she realized this great truth...her body seemed to be desperately hanging on to this baby, just like she never wanted to say goodbye to her baby.
Anyway, she goes on to saying how she never realized how powerful her body was, and she began to consider all the wonderful things her physical body had done over the years; carried her children, fed them, and helped care for them, how sparatic exercise over the years had felt good. She began to see her body, which she had loathed and hated to look at, in a completely new way. "I found new appreciation for it, as big as it still was. I did not love it overnight, but I started feeling differently."
"It was an amazing thing to me, but my whole attitude changed. I wanted to take better care of myself. I realized I needed to have patience to be able to make such drastic changes. I found my body was very forgiving of all the years of abuse I had put it through with my eating habits and lack of consistent exercise."
WOW!!! I feel like a light has come on in my head. It's interesting to see my body in that same way. Why has it been my enemy all these years? Why have I hated the way I look, when I'm the one who made my body look that way. My body is just here for the ride - why have I lacked so much care for it? It's doing what it was made to do, provide my spirit a place to reside while on this earth to learn and grow.
Thank you body! Thank you for sticking it out with me. Thank you for loving me regardless of what I've put you through. Thank you for letting me run, walk, smile, laugh, cry, jump, see, touch, and love. Thank you! I promise that I will be better to you. :)
Love, me
2 comments:
You are so amazing Shannon! Your blogs are so awesome to read. It's true, body image is a struggle for so many. I mean, just look at all the physiological diseases that come with it. Overeating, anorexia, bulimia.... It is definitely Satan's way to turn us against the one thing he doesn't have. You worded it so beautifully. We should all love our bodies for what it does for us. :)
Shannon, I didn't know you had this blog, but you are so inspiring. I feel like you have come a long way as I read through your old posts. I also think we very alike and I'm seeing myself in things you say. You are inspiring me to do better. thank you so much!!!
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